INGREDIENTS
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon white sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter (softened at room temperature and sliced)
3/4-1 cup milk
DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).
In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar. Cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Gradually stir in milk until dough pulls away from the side of the bowl.
Turn out onto a floured surface, mixing until all of the dried portion has mixed together nicely. Pat into a circle about an inch high and cut biscuits with a large cutter or juice glass dipped in flour. Repeat until all dough is used. Brush off the excess flour, and place biscuits onto an ungreased baking sheet.
Bake for 10 to 15 minutes in the preheated oven, or until edges begin to brown.
You really need to watch them though, the worst thing you can do is walk away from the oven when you are baking biscuits, stay with them and when the edges begin to brown pull them out or you'll find yourself with crispy hard bottoms and nice soft centers.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
It was as easy to capture
as it appears! haha.
My Cylerman and I with 26 weeks down and 13 weeks to go until Baby Jake joins us outside of his womb.
My Cylerman and I with 26 weeks down and 13 weeks to go until Baby Jake joins us outside of his womb.
Taco Salad
A friend recently shared her recipe for taco salads ( I could live off of taco salads!) and it inspired me to do this post sharing both of our versions. I hope you enjoy, give them both a try. :)
My version
2lbs sliced grilled or baked chicken (cooled)
1 med. head of Romano lettuce (bit sized)
1 container of cherry tomatoes or 3 medium tomatoes (diced)
1/2 can black olives (sliced)
1 cup rinsed Black beans
2 cups crushed tortilla chips
1 sliced avocado...
Cheddar cheese and Italian or Catalina dressing (amounts as desired)
Jenn's Version
Ingrediants
1 1/2 lbs. ground turkey (or beef)
1 sm. onion
1 med. head lettuce(cut to bite size)
3 med. tomatoes(diced)
1 envelope taco seasoning mix
1(4oz.) package grated sharp cheddar
1/2 can(3-4 ozs.) black olives(sliced)
2 C crushed taco flavored chips
about 1/2 C Italian or Catalina dressing
Brown meat and onions; drain, and let cool. Then mix all ingredients, toss w/dressing.
Happy eating!
My version
2lbs sliced grilled or baked chicken (cooled)
1 med. head of Romano lettuce (bit sized)
1 container of cherry tomatoes or 3 medium tomatoes (diced)
1/2 can black olives (sliced)
1 cup rinsed Black beans
2 cups crushed tortilla chips
1 sliced avocado...
Cheddar cheese and Italian or Catalina dressing (amounts as desired)
Jenn's Version
Ingrediants
1 1/2 lbs. ground turkey (or beef)
1 sm. onion
1 med. head lettuce(cut to bite size)
3 med. tomatoes(diced)
1 envelope taco seasoning mix
1(4oz.) package grated sharp cheddar
1/2 can(3-4 ozs.) black olives(sliced)
2 C crushed taco flavored chips
about 1/2 C Italian or Catalina dressing
Brown meat and onions; drain, and let cool. Then mix all ingredients, toss w/dressing.
Happy eating!
Monday, September 1, 2008
Hearty turkey and veggies.
1 lb. ground turkey
1 crown of broccoli
1 bag frozen vegetable mix (broccoli, carrots, cauliflower)
1/2 tbsp EVOO
1 lg. onion, chopped coarsely
1 minced garlic clove
1 tsp of Seasoning Salt (I used Kirkland Signiture)
1/4 tsp pepper
1 (8 oz.) can tomato sauce
1/2 c. water
2 bay leaves
Saute onion and turkey in oil until the turkey is fully cooked.
Then add rest of ingredients, mixing well to distribute tomato sauce evenly. Stir well. Cover and simmer on low heat for 15 minutes without removing lid.
The flavor here was really really great and this is a great hearty recipe that doesn't need carbs if you are trying to watch your carb intake. All in all a simple, easy, and healthy homemade meal. Try it, you won't be disappointed!
1 crown of broccoli
1 bag frozen vegetable mix (broccoli, carrots, cauliflower)
1/2 tbsp EVOO
1 lg. onion, chopped coarsely
1 minced garlic clove
1 tsp of Seasoning Salt (I used Kirkland Signiture)
1/4 tsp pepper
1 (8 oz.) can tomato sauce
1/2 c. water
2 bay leaves
Saute onion and turkey in oil until the turkey is fully cooked.
Then add rest of ingredients, mixing well to distribute tomato sauce evenly. Stir well. Cover and simmer on low heat for 15 minutes without removing lid.
The flavor here was really really great and this is a great hearty recipe that doesn't need carbs if you are trying to watch your carb intake. All in all a simple, easy, and healthy homemade meal. Try it, you won't be disappointed!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Sunday Morning
This is what my Sunday morning looked like. Newfies and Kids go together like Peanut Butter & Jelly. I love it. Goddess forbit I had a couple acres and a farm house, I'd be loaded with Kids and Newfs, Berners, ducks, sheep, chickens, maybe a cow, some mini donkeys, yadda yadda yadda, you get the drift... :)
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Natural Living: Epsom Salt, Beauty tips
For a relaxing soak:
Add two cups of Epsom Salt to the water in a standard-sized bathtub; soak for at least 12 minutes, three times weekly. For added benefits, add a few drops of eucalyptus oil or Lavender oil.
To exfoliate:
Mix 2 cups of Epsom Salt with 1/4 cup of petroleum jelly and a few drops of lavender essential oil. Use the mixture to gently scrub away dry skin patches.
Facial:
Mix 1/2 TSP of Epsom Salt into cleansing cream for a deep-pore cleansing. Massage on skin. Rinse with cool water. Pat dry.
Spa treatment:
After showering, massage handfuls of Epsom Salt over wet skin to exfoliate the body. It's the same treatment many upscale spas use, without the upscale price!
Bath crystals: Mix two cups of Epsom Salt with a few drops of your favorite oils, store in an air-tight glass container.
Add two cups of Epsom Salt to the water in a standard-sized bathtub; soak for at least 12 minutes, three times weekly. For added benefits, add a few drops of eucalyptus oil or Lavender oil.
To exfoliate:
Mix 2 cups of Epsom Salt with 1/4 cup of petroleum jelly and a few drops of lavender essential oil. Use the mixture to gently scrub away dry skin patches.
Facial:
Mix 1/2 TSP of Epsom Salt into cleansing cream for a deep-pore cleansing. Massage on skin. Rinse with cool water. Pat dry.
Spa treatment:
After showering, massage handfuls of Epsom Salt over wet skin to exfoliate the body. It's the same treatment many upscale spas use, without the upscale price!
Bath crystals: Mix two cups of Epsom Salt with a few drops of your favorite oils, store in an air-tight glass container.
Natural Living: Epsom Salt, Health benefits
Studies show these benefits from the major components of Epsom Salt may:
Magnesium:
Ease stress and improves sleep and concentration
Help muscles and nerves function properly
Regulate activity of 325+ enzymes
Help prevent artery hardening and blood clots
Make insulin more effective
Reduce inflammation to relieve pain and muscle cramps
Improve oxygen use
Sulfates:
Flush toxins
Improve absorption of nutrients
Help form joint proteins, brain tissue and mucin proteins
Help prevent or ease migraine headaches
Why it works:
Magnesium - the key component of Epsom Salt -- performs more functions in more systems of the human body than virtually any other mineral, including regulating the activity of more than 325 enzymes.
Studies show that magnesium is:
An electrolyte, helping to ensure proper muscle, nerve and enzyme function.
Critical to the proper use of calcium in cells.
An aid in helping to prevent heart disease and strokes by lowering blood pressure, protecting the elasticity of arteries, preventing blood clots and reducing the risk of sudden heart attack deaths.
Medical research also indicates that magnesium may:
Increase the effectiveness of insulin, helping to lower the risk or severity of diabetes.
Reduce inflammation and relieves pain, making it a beneficial in the treatment of sore muscles, bronchial asthma, migraine headaches and fibromyalgia.
Although magnesium can be absorbed through the digestive tract, many foods, drugs and medical conditions can interfere with the effectiveness of this deliver method. Therefore, soaking in an Epsom Salt bath is one of the most effective means of making the magnesium your body needs readily available.
Epsom Salt also delivers sulfates, which medical research indicates are needed for the formation of brain tissue, joint proteins and the mucin proteins that line the walls of the digestive tract. Studies show that sulfates also stimulate the pancreas to generate digestive enzymes and help to detoxify the body's residue of medicines and environmental contaminants. Studies indicate that sulfates are difficult to absorb from food, but are readily absorbed through the skin.
Health usage tips:
For compresses: Use 2 cups of Epsom Salt per gallon of water for sore muscles, bug bites and splinter removal.
For soaking: Add two cups of Epsom Salt to warm water in a standard-sized bathtub. Double the Epsom Salt for an oversized garden tub. Popular for easing muscle pain and fading bruises. Bathe three times weekly, soaking for at least 12 minutes.
Foot bath: Add a cup of Epsom Salt to a tub of warm water as a popular balm for aching feet.
Laxative: Consult the package directions for instructions.
information available: http://www.epsomsaltcouncil.org/health_benefits.htm
AS ALWAYS: Consult with your physican, FIRST! Especially if you have a pre-existing medical conditon.
Magnesium:
Ease stress and improves sleep and concentration
Help muscles and nerves function properly
Regulate activity of 325+ enzymes
Help prevent artery hardening and blood clots
Make insulin more effective
Reduce inflammation to relieve pain and muscle cramps
Improve oxygen use
Sulfates:
Flush toxins
Improve absorption of nutrients
Help form joint proteins, brain tissue and mucin proteins
Help prevent or ease migraine headaches
Why it works:
Magnesium - the key component of Epsom Salt -- performs more functions in more systems of the human body than virtually any other mineral, including regulating the activity of more than 325 enzymes.
Studies show that magnesium is:
An electrolyte, helping to ensure proper muscle, nerve and enzyme function.
Critical to the proper use of calcium in cells.
An aid in helping to prevent heart disease and strokes by lowering blood pressure, protecting the elasticity of arteries, preventing blood clots and reducing the risk of sudden heart attack deaths.
Medical research also indicates that magnesium may:
Increase the effectiveness of insulin, helping to lower the risk or severity of diabetes.
Reduce inflammation and relieves pain, making it a beneficial in the treatment of sore muscles, bronchial asthma, migraine headaches and fibromyalgia.
Although magnesium can be absorbed through the digestive tract, many foods, drugs and medical conditions can interfere with the effectiveness of this deliver method. Therefore, soaking in an Epsom Salt bath is one of the most effective means of making the magnesium your body needs readily available.
Epsom Salt also delivers sulfates, which medical research indicates are needed for the formation of brain tissue, joint proteins and the mucin proteins that line the walls of the digestive tract. Studies show that sulfates also stimulate the pancreas to generate digestive enzymes and help to detoxify the body's residue of medicines and environmental contaminants. Studies indicate that sulfates are difficult to absorb from food, but are readily absorbed through the skin.
Health usage tips:
For compresses: Use 2 cups of Epsom Salt per gallon of water for sore muscles, bug bites and splinter removal.
For soaking: Add two cups of Epsom Salt to warm water in a standard-sized bathtub. Double the Epsom Salt for an oversized garden tub. Popular for easing muscle pain and fading bruises. Bathe three times weekly, soaking for at least 12 minutes.
Foot bath: Add a cup of Epsom Salt to a tub of warm water as a popular balm for aching feet.
Laxative: Consult the package directions for instructions.
information available: http://www.epsomsaltcouncil.org/health_benefits.htm
AS ALWAYS: Consult with your physican, FIRST! Especially if you have a pre-existing medical conditon.
Natural Living: Epsom Salt, part 1
The Science of Epsom Salt:
Magnesium is the second-most abundant element in human cells and the fourth-most important positively charged ion in the body, so it's little wonder this low-profile mineral is so vital to good health and well being. Magnesium, a major component of Epsom Salt, also helps to regulate the activity of more than 325 enzymes and performs a vital role in orchestrating many bodily functions, from muscle control and electrical impulses to energy production and the elimination of harmful toxins.
The National Academy of Sciences, however, reports that most Americans are magnesium deficient, helping to account for our society's high rate of heart disease, stroke, osteoporosis, arthritis and joint pain, digestive maladies and stress-related illnesses, chronic fatigue and a host of other ailments. The Academy estimates the average American male gets just 80% of the magnesium required for good health, while females get only 70% of their recommended levels. Nutritionists say Americans' magnesium levels have dropped more than 50% in the past century.
Starved for magnesium
A variety of factors contributes to the nation's magnesium deficiency. Intensive farming practices deplete magnesium from the soil, and magnesium is not a standard component in most fertilizers. Therefore, a diet that would have supplied enough magnesium a century ago may not supply enough today.
At the same time, average Americans eat diets far less healthy than their ancestors ate. The typical modern diet, rich in fat, sugar, salt and protein, not only contains less magnesium than a balanced diet does; these same foods actually accelerate the depletion of magnesium from our systems.
So, too, does our emphasis on calcium as an antidote for bone disease; calcium drains magnesium from the body, and calcium can only perform its role in the cells when sufficient magnesium is present. Studies indicate that taking a calcium supplement without ensuring the body also receives enough magnesium can therefore amplify the shortage of both nutrients. Researchers have found that most Americans have five times as much calcium as magnesium in their bodies; the proper ratio for optimum absorption of both minerals is about two to one.
Better health through soaking
Magnesium can be ingested as a nutritional supplement, but studies show that a wide variety of factors - the presence of specific foods or drugs, certain medical conditions, even the individual chemistry of a person's stomach acid - can interfere with their effectiveness. But all of the subjects in a recent study experienced increased magnesium levels from soaking in a bath enriched with magnesium sulfate crystals, commonly known as Epsom Salt.
Researchers and physicians report that raising your magnesium levels may:
Improve heart and circulatory health, reducing irregular heartbeats, preventing hardening of the arteries, reducing blood clots and lowering blood pressure.
Improve the body's ability to use insulin, reducing the incidence or severity of diabetes.
Flush toxins and heavy metals from the cells, easing muscle pain and helping the body to eliminate harmful substances.
Improve nerve function by regulating electrolytes. Also, calcium is the main conductor for electrical current in the body, and magnesium is necessary to maintain proper calcium levels in the blood.
Relieve stress. Excess adrenaline and stress are believed to drain magnesium, a natural stress reliever, from the body. Magnesium is necessary for the body to bind adequate amounts of serotonin, a mood-elevating chemical within the brain that creates a feeling of well being and relaxation.
While increasing your magnesium levels, Epsom Salt also delivers sulfates, which are extremely difficult to get through food but which readily absorb through the skin. Sulfates serve a wide variety of functions in the body, playing a vital role in the formation of brain tissue, joint proteins and the mucin proteins that line the walls of the digestive tract. Sulfates also stimulate the pancreas to generate digestive enzymes and are believed to help detoxify the body's residue of medicines and environmental contaminants.
information available: http://www.epsomsaltcouncil.org/index.htm
AS ALWAYS: Consult with your physican, FIRST! Especially if you have a pre-existing medical conditon.
Magnesium is the second-most abundant element in human cells and the fourth-most important positively charged ion in the body, so it's little wonder this low-profile mineral is so vital to good health and well being. Magnesium, a major component of Epsom Salt, also helps to regulate the activity of more than 325 enzymes and performs a vital role in orchestrating many bodily functions, from muscle control and electrical impulses to energy production and the elimination of harmful toxins.
The National Academy of Sciences, however, reports that most Americans are magnesium deficient, helping to account for our society's high rate of heart disease, stroke, osteoporosis, arthritis and joint pain, digestive maladies and stress-related illnesses, chronic fatigue and a host of other ailments. The Academy estimates the average American male gets just 80% of the magnesium required for good health, while females get only 70% of their recommended levels. Nutritionists say Americans' magnesium levels have dropped more than 50% in the past century.
Starved for magnesium
A variety of factors contributes to the nation's magnesium deficiency. Intensive farming practices deplete magnesium from the soil, and magnesium is not a standard component in most fertilizers. Therefore, a diet that would have supplied enough magnesium a century ago may not supply enough today.
At the same time, average Americans eat diets far less healthy than their ancestors ate. The typical modern diet, rich in fat, sugar, salt and protein, not only contains less magnesium than a balanced diet does; these same foods actually accelerate the depletion of magnesium from our systems.
So, too, does our emphasis on calcium as an antidote for bone disease; calcium drains magnesium from the body, and calcium can only perform its role in the cells when sufficient magnesium is present. Studies indicate that taking a calcium supplement without ensuring the body also receives enough magnesium can therefore amplify the shortage of both nutrients. Researchers have found that most Americans have five times as much calcium as magnesium in their bodies; the proper ratio for optimum absorption of both minerals is about two to one.
Better health through soaking
Magnesium can be ingested as a nutritional supplement, but studies show that a wide variety of factors - the presence of specific foods or drugs, certain medical conditions, even the individual chemistry of a person's stomach acid - can interfere with their effectiveness. But all of the subjects in a recent study experienced increased magnesium levels from soaking in a bath enriched with magnesium sulfate crystals, commonly known as Epsom Salt.
Researchers and physicians report that raising your magnesium levels may:
Improve heart and circulatory health, reducing irregular heartbeats, preventing hardening of the arteries, reducing blood clots and lowering blood pressure.
Improve the body's ability to use insulin, reducing the incidence or severity of diabetes.
Flush toxins and heavy metals from the cells, easing muscle pain and helping the body to eliminate harmful substances.
Improve nerve function by regulating electrolytes. Also, calcium is the main conductor for electrical current in the body, and magnesium is necessary to maintain proper calcium levels in the blood.
Relieve stress. Excess adrenaline and stress are believed to drain magnesium, a natural stress reliever, from the body. Magnesium is necessary for the body to bind adequate amounts of serotonin, a mood-elevating chemical within the brain that creates a feeling of well being and relaxation.
While increasing your magnesium levels, Epsom Salt also delivers sulfates, which are extremely difficult to get through food but which readily absorb through the skin. Sulfates serve a wide variety of functions in the body, playing a vital role in the formation of brain tissue, joint proteins and the mucin proteins that line the walls of the digestive tract. Sulfates also stimulate the pancreas to generate digestive enzymes and are believed to help detoxify the body's residue of medicines and environmental contaminants.
information available: http://www.epsomsaltcouncil.org/index.htm
AS ALWAYS: Consult with your physican, FIRST! Especially if you have a pre-existing medical conditon.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Where I'm at:
an old slide show of the Gila River Indian reservation, which is about 10 minutes away from the place we call home.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sour Cream and Onion Turkey Burgers
Preheat oven, broil setting.
1 1/2 lb. ground turkey
1/4 c. sour cream
1 diced tomato
1 diced onion
1 tbs. Worcestershire sauce
1/2 tbs. ground red pepper
1 tsp. dried chives
1 tsp. seasoned salt
2 tsp. soy sauce
1 tsp. vinegar
1/3 cup bread crumbs
Mix all ingredients together forming into hamburgers.
Broil 15 minutes or until meat is well cooked.
Take out of oven and sprinkle cheese on top of burgers if desired.
let sit 5 minutes before serving.
enjoy!
1 1/2 lb. ground turkey
1/4 c. sour cream
1 diced tomato
1 diced onion
1 tbs. Worcestershire sauce
1/2 tbs. ground red pepper
1 tsp. dried chives
1 tsp. seasoned salt
2 tsp. soy sauce
1 tsp. vinegar
1/3 cup bread crumbs
Mix all ingredients together forming into hamburgers.
Broil 15 minutes or until meat is well cooked.
Take out of oven and sprinkle cheese on top of burgers if desired.
let sit 5 minutes before serving.
enjoy!
Indie Introduction: 2
Meet Joshua Radin, another hugely talented LA indie scene musician.
Have a listen at his Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/joshuaradin
or check out his website: http://joshuaradin.com/
I just learned of Joshua Radin via Cassandra Zinks recent article for People Magazine.
" Radin told PEOPLE exclusively of his performance for DeGeneres, 50, and de Rossi, 35. "I've never played a wedding before, and I probably won't again until it's my own.” For his performance, Radin – who was hand-picked by DeGeneres as a surprise for de Rossi – sang acoustic renditions of several new tracks, including the ballad "They Bring Me To You."
Go have a listen, you may have heard his music before on Greys Anatomy or Scrubs.
Have a listen at his Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/joshuaradin
or check out his website: http://joshuaradin.com/
I just learned of Joshua Radin via Cassandra Zinks recent article for People Magazine.
" Radin told PEOPLE exclusively of his performance for DeGeneres, 50, and de Rossi, 35. "I've never played a wedding before, and I probably won't again until it's my own.” For his performance, Radin – who was hand-picked by DeGeneres as a surprise for de Rossi – sang acoustic renditions of several new tracks, including the ballad "They Bring Me To You."
Go have a listen, you may have heard his music before on Greys Anatomy or Scrubs.
Indie Introduction: 1
It's my goal to introduce an Indie band that my readers will (most likely) have no idea even existed atleast once a week. So let the introductions begin.
Meet Vancans: Their myspace is at http://myspace.com/jbv
Their website is: http://jbvproductions.com/
I came to know of Vancans (Jeremiah Vancans At times: Thomas Eaton, Pearson Constantino, Jon Shaw, Kevin Denton, Michael Doctor, Andrew Battles, Stephen Smith, Grant Mulligan.) after watching Terra Naomi's "Girl you know it's true video" that you can watch in the YouTube below. Jeremiahs performance definately helped make the video.
Go have a listen and if you dig become a fan and cheer yet another great Indie band on as they make their mark in the Music World. :)
Meet Vancans: Their myspace is at http://myspace.com/jbv
Their website is: http://jbvproductions.com/
I came to know of Vancans (Jeremiah Vancans At times: Thomas Eaton, Pearson Constantino, Jon Shaw, Kevin Denton, Michael Doctor, Andrew Battles, Stephen Smith, Grant Mulligan.) after watching Terra Naomi's "Girl you know it's true video" that you can watch in the YouTube below. Jeremiahs performance definately helped make the video.
Go have a listen and if you dig become a fan and cheer yet another great Indie band on as they make their mark in the Music World. :)
Canine's Letters to God
TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the ' Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
FROM: THE DOG
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the ' Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
Sunday, August 17, 2008
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